Bean meme provided by author
The most egalitarian timetable, I recently learned from a friend who loves nonsequiturs, is the French Revolutionary calendar. Implemented for 12 years at the turn of the 18th century, the calendar sought to scrub all royal and religious influences (no Sundays!). It divided each of the 12 months into three ten-day weeks, each day into ten hours, and each hour into 100 minutes. Every day was assigned an object of contemplation. Not saints or religious holidays, but treasures from the land—plants, trees, flowers, fruits, minerals. Advertisem*nt Advertisem*nt
And then there was the post on the relationships subreddit that went viral, where the poster’s girlfriend allegedly buried their stockpile of beans in the woods and refused to tell him where they were, saying, “I will never jeopardize the beans.”
Classic memes have been repurposed to include beans:
Beans have even infiltrated the upper echelons of American pop culture. In a recent Instagram post, Justin Bieber captioned a photo of Hailey Baldwin with “U ARE A BEAN.”
Bean memes are as hearty as their muse. A long and boring night in quarantine can be passed quickly by making up fun bean memes. Recently, my friend and I spent hours coming up with New York Times-ian headlines: “For Memes, A Bean”; “She Wanted a Meme. What She Got Is a Bean.”Beans have always been objectively funny. Last year, Gabriella Paiella wrote about everyone’s love for beans and how “it’s bean time, all the time.” There are beans in all kinds of memes, from the farmer (Gene) who plowed his love for the flag into his crop (of beans) to the meme that explains how communism works (“God gives a bean to each worker”).
But in a time of crisis, there is something especially grounded about beans. This is why they are so resonant during a pandemic in which the gaps between our unequal system have never been more clear: God, after all, gives a bean to each worker.Which is also why there is no need to hoard beans, a practice that is against beans’ very own ethos. Like memes, beans should be shared. Instead of overstocking on beans, may I gently suggest making a bean meme instead. What makes beans surprising is not how small they are, but how big they can be.
ONE EMAIL. ONE STORY. EVERY WEEK. SIGN UP FOR THE VICE NEWSLETTER.
By signing up, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy & to receive electronic communications from Vice Media Group, which may include marketing promotions, advertisem*nts and sponsored content.